​Children need to exercise and we should encourage them to do so. Children with autism though may need a bit more encouragement unless it's something they're passionate about.

I've done some reading and apparently vigorous activity helps manage behaviours, such as hyperactivity in children with autism. It also helps children engage more in the environment, along with the usual benefit of promoting good health overall...and that's what we want right?

But here’s the thing with my son, unless it includes swimming or dancing and jumping up and down to music, he's usually not interested in exercising, sports or any other physical activity.

He recently surprised me though....and he does that a lot, by the way. 😄

​I had decided to go on my treadmill, and while I was on it he came over and asked me if he could have a turn... In my head I danced and I screamed "YASSSS!” but in actuality I responded “of course you can!”
I jumped on that very spontaneous request and interest, asked him to put on his sneakers and taught him how to use the treadmill.

It was an amazing feeling watching him walk on that treadmill, working out the balance, attempting to let go of the handles.

Now that I know he is interested, even if it's only a slight interest, my plan is to use that interest to encourage more physical activity. I’ve found that when I do that it makes things so much easier because my son is motivated to do what I’m telling him to do.
But even though he's motivated and excited and now therefore I am, I have to stay calm, I have to plan properly and remind myself that he may lose interest. My role here is not to be an overzealous personal trainer, my role here is to be mom, to stay calm and promote a safe environment for my son and as with anything I’m introducing for the first time I have to be supportive and positive and always always use encouraging words.

So here’s our summer exercise plan:
We’ll continue exploring the treadmill, increasing speed and incline when he’s comfortable and then we’ll add these exercises:
1. Jumping Jacks
2. Star jumps
3. Bear claws annnnnd
4. Burpees....nah I’m just kidding why would I inflict such torture on my son! 🤣
We’ll definitely start off slowly, maybe only five reps per exercise but the most important thing is that it will be fun at all times...no pressure whatsoever. I want him to love exercise and I want it to be a part of his daily routine because I strongly believe that being active could improve his coping skills, and definitely enhance his overall quality of life.

Do you have any specific goals for your children this summer? If you do, stay strong, and GOOD LUCK!

xoxo
DrummerBoysMom

Does he really NEED to learn to read
music to play
🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

I always thought that since he learnt to play drums naturally...by ear...why stress him out with the theory aspect of drumming? He has raw talent and loves it...why stress him out to “read music”...he doesn’t even want to read a book. I didn’t want him to hate what he loves.
BUT apparently I was getting worked up over nothing...
Apparently “reading music” for drumming is actually easier than it is for piano or guitar...the lines and spaces on the musical staff represent the parts of the drum set! Think VISUAL...if you’re an autism parent and your kiddo is a visual thinker YOU KNOW...it’s happy dance time,
it’s peasy lemon squeezy time! Well sorta...

In any event his teacher had plans...plans to challenge him, and stretch him, plans to set and achieve goals! YASSSSS! Don’t you just love that?!


But more importantly, when You sit down and really think about it...if MUSIC IS HIS LANGUAGE and he is learning it won’t he be much better off becoming musically literate as well?
Yeh I think so too.


So here I am thanking God once again for teachers who think outside the box, teachers who want to make a difference, who see the potential...who see the differences but don’t think less...in fact they think more.
xoxo
DrummerBoysMom
(dbm)

Let's address the elephant in the room, shall we? No? Not ready? Ha ha, yeh me too....I don't think I will ever be. Which parent is? Puberty can be awkward and embarrassing for most people. BUT you know what? It shouldn't be - It's just BIOLOGY. Right? Right.

Puberty is no walk in the park, and for some special needs children and their parents it seems puberty is one hundred times worse, way more sensitive, exaggerated, and intense....know what I mean?
My son is almost twelve years old and I'm literally facing the elephant in the room. He was happily going along his merry pubescent way and I thought woohooo this isn’t so bad - just a lil jog in the park...I thought wow I GOT THIS...without even preparing.

Slow and steady was his pace....until summer. Summer came and BOOM another growth spurt then BOOM BOOM BOOM real, proper puberty and all the stuff that comes with it...and yes, this mama was not prepared.

Don't make the same mistake people. Be prepared, get ahead of the curve because they don’t stay young forever...EVERYBODY grows up...who knew? haha But seriously, no matter who you are, autism or no autism, puberty is inevitable. It’s the same in some ways and a little different in other ways. But the bottom line is that ALL children grow up...it is what it is. It is the great equalizer.

So what will puberty be like for my ASD child? I honestly don't know as it is different for every child...kind of like autism?! Just be prepared for the same things that happen with typical children to happen to your ASD child...I know, yikes. So how do we prepare?? i.don't.know! All I know is what I have gathered so far, and IF it can help you? Awesome.

Emotions Emotions Emotions
Get ready for some emotional outbursts, mood swings, aggression, arguing and defiance. Thankfully I haven't experienced all of that. What I have experienced is a bit of moodiness and a lot of that good old defiance. Time to get ready for school - "NO”, Time to have a bath - "NO I DON'T WANT TO". This might not seem like much but when you're used to a usually compliant child and suddenly you're getting "Nos" for everything that is a huge change. My advice? Pick your battles, and for issues that are not so important just let them go...for your sanity's sake.

Development
Just so you know, if your child is like mine, almost twelve and still walking around with stuffed toys and blankets, still watching shows like “Thomas the Train” and “Little Einstein’s”, the same shows they watched when they were three years old, DON’T be fooled. Don't get blind sided. Don’t think they haven’t started puberty and that you have time. Nope...don't do that...trust me... it’s either right around the corner or happening right under your nose! While they might not be developing like their peers socially or emotionally, best believe they are developing physically. I’m serious...my little boy is not a child anymore. So check for those subtle signs. You've been there, you know them, and if you've forgotten, now's the time to use that awesome search engine Google to refresh your memory. Visit the paediatrician if you need to and get some guidance. Talk to your child's school, teachers and teacher/shadow assistants, have a plan in place and just mentally prepare yourself already!

The Gap
So your kiddos are older now, no longer five or six...think about this for a minute. Go ahead think about it, I'll wait. Ready? Ok, now think about their peers. I know you see it...the now very noticeable development gap. As I mentioned earlier my son is still walking around with stuffed toys and watching “Thomas the Train” etc. - that and all the other differences are now glaringly obvious.

Here's the problem, as kids get older and become teens they become more socially aware. What's in, what's not, what's cool and what's definitely not. They now notice how different their special needs peers are, they might even joke about these differences, unfortunately. It's sad, but the reality is that some teens are mean. Social skills are already challenging for our children on the spectrum, but stack that mean teen on top of that and what do you end up with? 99 problems kinda problems. So what do you do? Easy, what you've already been doing - advocate advocate advocate! Continue to raise awareness and encourage kindness and acceptance in spite of differences and pray for the best. Be prepared for those bad days and BE THERE for your child...BE PRESENT.

Self-Help/Self-Care
I don't know about you but because my pre-teen is able, I'm all about encouraging independence. I'm not going to be around forever, and he needs to be able to take care of himself - so long as he is able to do so.

Sniff Sniff
When he says he's had a "bath" but then he comes in close for a hug and you're all "sniff sniff gahhhh ehhhrmagadd"...Why? PUBERTY of course, it's no walk in a wonderfully smelling park. It's awkward, its confusing and yup stinky.

So what can you do? For me, right now it's just "gentle" reminders to bathe properly, PUT ON YOUR DEODORANT, brush your teeth, and put on deodorant. Did I say deodorant already? Twice? Yeah....apparently I don't say it enough, so hear I go again, put on your deodorant! Grrrr...sigh it's just, you know...those pesky hormones...you can't make them win and there’s really no need for our kiddos to be singled out because of this. These are manageable issues. Issues you can work on at home where your child is comfortable.

Hair
At some point I'll have to deal with hair growth and shaving and all the sensory issues that come with that, but not now...thank GOD. Right now that's not on my plate - small mercies!

Non-Stop Eating
All this growing equals non-stop eating. So just be prepared and have those hopefully healthy snacks ready for in between meals.

Those "Other" Issues
I don't need to spell it our for you. You know what I'm talking about. I wasn't planning on discussing that online with you. The plan was to just gloss over it. Because for one, that stuff is PRIVATE and maybe, just maybe my boy would cringe at the thought of me even mentioning this topic. So respecting his assumed wishes, all I'm going to say is you need to start thinking about how you will manage this issue. If your child is verbal, think about what and how to discuss it when it arises. If your child isn't verbal or only slightly verbal, think about how to actually "discuss" it with them given their verbal limitations, or if you will even be able to discuss it with them. Probably not. You will need to establish what the ground rules are, the Whens and the Wheres, i.e. when it's appropriate and when it's absolutely not, where it's appropriate and where it's absolutely not.

Bottom line? We all want to keep our kiddos safe. I have no clue what my child even understands about puberty, what is happening to him or what he is feeling BUT I want to keep him safe, so giving him skills to deal with all of this is my priority. That and praying for the best outcome and then watching over him like a hawk...that's my strategy. It's all I can do. But when I leave this earth what then, who will do this for me? This is when I start feeling overwhelmed and emotional and I have to remind myself - "one day at a time DBM, one day at a time..."

Parenting is challenging and preparing for puberty can be overwhelming - I haven't even scratched the surface with this post! Clearly I’ll have more to add later.
For now though, maybe think about these issues, if you’re not thinking about it already, and just be ready for it. You have no control over hormones and puberty but you can control the information your child receives initially and more importantly how this information is given.

xx
DrummerBoysMom




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